The quick answer
Anger is a normal feeling that everybody has. A part of your brain works like an alarm and gets your body ready for action. It is okay to feel angry, but not okay to hurt anyone or break things.
RankiTanki, sometimes I feel like a fizzy drink that someone has shaken up. Why do we get so angry?
TankiThat is a brilliant way to describe it. Everybody feels like that sometimes. Let me explain what is going on inside.
Anger is a normal feeling
Happy, sad, scared, excited and angry are all . Everybody has them, children and grown-ups too. Anger often shows up when something feels . It can also come when you are tired, hungry or . Frustrated means cross because something is not working out.
Feeling angry does not make you a bad person. It often just means that something matters to you.
Your body’s alarm
Deep inside your brain, a small part works a bit like an . When something upsets you, the alarm goes off. It gets your body ready for action, very fast.
- Your heart beats faster.
- Your face may feel hot or turn red.
- Your get tight, and your hands may curl into fists.
- You might want to shout or stamp your feet.
All this happens in a flash, before you have time to think. That is why angry feelings can seem so big and so sudden.
RankiSo my brain rings the alarm, even if the problem is only a broken pencil?
TankiYes. The alarm is not very good at telling big problems from small ones. That is where you come in.
Okay to feel, not okay to hurt
It is always okay to feel angry. But it is not okay to hurt anyone, to hurt yourself or to break things. You are the boss of what you do with the feeling.
The good news is that the alarm calms down again. You can help it calm down faster. Here are some ideas that work for lots of people.
Ways to calm the alarm
- Take slow breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth.
- Count slowly to ten.
- Move your body. Jump, stamp on the spot or run around the garden.
- Squeeze a soft cushion or a cuddly toy.
- Draw your angry feeling as a scribble or a picture.
- Talk to a grown-up you trust about what happened.
When the alarm is quiet again, you can think more clearly. Then you can talk about the problem, say sorry if you need to, or find a fix together.
Try it
Smell the flower, blow the dandelion
You need
What to do
- Sit or stand comfortably and let your shoulders drop.
- Imagine you are holding a beautiful flower.
- Smell the flower. Breathe in slowly through your nose.
- Now imagine a fluffy dandelion. Blow its seeds away slowly through your mouth.
- Do this five times. Notice how your body feels afterwards.
RankiSo anger is like a loud alarm. But I can help it get quiet again.
TankiExactly. And you never have to do it alone. A grown-up you trust is always a good person to talk to.
Big words
- feelings
- What happens inside you, like being happy, sad, scared or angry.
- unfair
- When something does not feel right or equal for everyone.
- frustrated
- Cross because something is not working out the way you want.
- alarm
- A signal that warns you and gets you ready to act.
- muscles
- The parts of your body that help you move.
- imagination
- Your mind’s power to picture things that are not really there.
Quick quiz
1. Who feels angry sometimes?
Anger is a normal feeling that everybody has, children and grown-ups too.
2. What can happen to your body when you feel angry?
Your body’s alarm makes your heart beat faster and your muscles get tight.
3. Which of these is a good way to calm down?
Slow breaths help the alarm in your brain calm down again.
For parents and teachers
Naming feelings helps children handle them, so it can help to say calmly what you notice, for example: “You look really cross because your tower fell down.” Practising calming ideas when everyone is relaxed makes them easier to use in the heat of the moment. If you are ever worried about your child’s anger, their school or doctor can offer support.
Pictures marked “AI generated” were made with AI tools. Ranki and Tanki are AI generated characters. Found a mistake? Write to info@pr-geo.com and we will fix it.
